Oh, that was a very bad omen, really. It is difficult for me to imagine what a “feminist” husband would be, considering that for more than four decades, feminists have argued against marriage, per se.
Exactly why would a feminist want a husband? This is the great riddle.
Fish don’t need bicycles and feminists don’t need men. Such was the doctrine proclaimed by Gloria Steinem, anyway, but nevertheless some women ignore these contradictions and thus, sadly, we have the phenomenon of The Feminist Man. These seem so rare they may be entirely mythical — unicorns, minotaurs, mermaids, Feminist Men.
In theory, a relationship based on a radical egalitarian ideology seems possible. However, feminism’s doctrinaire belief that men and women are fundamentally the same (androgynous) and that there are no natural distinctions between them, inevitably raises the question, “Why”?
That is to say, if men do not possess any specifically masculine traits or characteristics that she admires, why does she associate with him? What purpose does The Feminist Man fulfill? What is his value to her?
According to feminist theory, masculinity is an artificial product of patriarchy, socially constructed by the gender binary within theheterosexual matrix. The male has no essential raison d’être in the feminist scheme of things. He is entirely useless and irrelevant and it is impossible to imagine how a woman who finds males attractive — desirable and perhaps even necessary — could call herself a “feminist.”
Nevertheless, despite these ideological contradictions, The Feminist Man is alleged to exist, and here is the tale of a woman who married one:
I lived happily — blissfully unaware how happily — for 14 years with a man who seemed sensitive, kind, intelligent, liberal, and feminist. We were deeply in love and the kind of couple people looked up to. My marriage was permanent; it defined my future. Two years ago, I would have told you we were unshakable. I couldn’t imagine a scenario that could break us up. My husband was also, to all outward appearances, happy. He enjoyed life and was uniquely easygoing and content. Those qualities made him a joy to chat with, to vacation with, and to live with.
Then my husband woke up one day feeling a little “gender-fluid.” Within three months he developed the conviction that he was a woman and he “came out” to everyone he knew. . . .
He cried because someone “misgendered” him. He cried because his shoulders were too broad for his new dress. He cried because he couldn’t completely eradicate the stubble on his face. He cried because his new habit of flipping his hair back with a limp wrist had gotten him mistaken for a gay man. . . .
He got counseling and joined support groups, where he “learned” that he was “literally” a woman, and not just someone who identified as one. He announced to all comers thathe’d found his “true self” and had become “happy” for the first time in his life. His alleged happiness didn’t stop him from spiraling into an even deeper despair. He became suicidal. He was prescribed antidepressants. He adopted bizarre beliefs and became hysterical if anyone questioned them.
All interests were abandoned for endless monologues about transgender rights and his “gender identity.”
Yeah, she married The Feminist Man, and when he turned out to be not actually a man at all — well, she was deeply hurt by this. She searched online forums of other women who had gone through a similar trauma:
This is just the transgender experience. Narcissism, sexual dysfunction, partner neglect, childishness, temper tantrums,lack of impulse control. Tell me again why this is a normal human variation?
It didn’t matter that I thought my marriage was stronger than most, that I thought that my husband was smarter and kinder than most.This was my inevitable trajectory.
Inevitable? Well, if you find The Feminist Man attractive — so “sensitive”! so “kind”! so “liberal”! — what do you really expect? Somewhere behind that “easygoing” façade, your husband was slowly losing his mind as he gazed into the abyss of existential despair. To repeat: The male has no essential raison d’être in the feminist scheme of things.
Feminism is a philosophy that declares men to be utterly useless. It is astonishing how so many women are eager to advocate “equality” — i.e., the eradication of all social distinctions between male and female — and yet do not follow this argument to its logical conclusion.
“Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools . . .”
— Romans 1:22 (KJV)
Once a society embraces certain ideas — syncretistic paganism, for example — the descent into madness is really just a matter of time.